The Fruit is in the Root

By Grant Marshall

John 12:24

I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains [just one grain; it never becomes more but lives] by itself alone. But if it dies, it produces many others and yields a rich harvest. AMP

What a profound statement by Yeshua.

Marriage is like a tree.

As the tree grows, there is tension, bending and shaking by the storms, burning by the sun, soaking by the rains.  The strands of wood that grow together gain strength as they bind closer together, as the elements, those unexpected moments, push against it.

Sometimes you can hear the tree creak, and sometimes you can hear the crow-like noises of the branches rubbing against each other. But like the giant redwoods, marriage is an ancient institution. It is connected to the very moment God made man. It was, from the very beginning, on the mind of, and in the heart of God.

Inside the man, God established the potential of all he could be. When a tree grows, it does not know what will become of it once it dies.

It can become something simple, a table, a chair, a house, a broom, a thousand wonderful things, and it can become the pillars of a great temple.

The cedars of Lebanon were chosen by God to build the first temple, and it is considered by scholars to be the same gopher wood God instructed Noah to use when he built the ark.

So, you see, trees are important to God.

In our observation, we do not see the blossom or the fruit on the trunk — we see it on its branches and its leaves. I wonder how many of us married folk actually observe our marriages. Are we just too busy trying to compromise and cope?

Someone once said that marriage is the union of two completely opposite people in an impossible situation.

How true that is, and how true it is, also, that we need to remember that God is the third partner in our own marriages.

One could argue that if a man and woman become one, then God is, in fact, second in the union. This is symbolic of the mystery of the relationship between the Father and the Son, and Yeshua's marriage to His bride and His prayer that all who are in Him be as One, just as He and the Father are one.

Returning to the nature of a tree, we note that the leaves and the fruit cannot flourish without the connection to the tree. Some fruit-bearing trees don't produce fruit for many years. Grafted trees can produce at a quicker rate, perhaps in 2- 4years. Natural trees can take much longer, such as olives and pears, up to 15 years. Other fruit-producing trees may take even longer.

The bearing of fruit, therefore, is not immediate. The substance and foundation of the soil must be established. Thus, marriage is the same. The stronger the foundation, that is, the effort made to establish a rich and nutritious environment where the union of spirit and soul prosper, the more productive the fruit shall be. Does this not reflect of Yeshua's own preparation in building a place for His bride?

We can often compare our lives and situation to those of others. If we are a couple, we become observant of other couples. We watch how they are walking together, holding hands, laughing and enjoying each other. We notice these things more acutely if we are unhappy in our marriage. Our circumstances may not be something to celebrate, and sometimes it may seem that we are just surviving instead of living and flourishing.

What would happen if a tree could think?

One day, an olive tree looked at an apple tree, and he said, " You look so beautiful when you blossom, and your apples are full of colour, reds and yellows and all shades of green. I wish I were an apple tree

‘My leaves are small and my fruit, though  they are many, all the same.’

But the apple tree said, ' Your fruit is prized. You hold a valuable oil. People fight over your groves. I wish people would fight over me. My fruits fall and are eaten by the grubs.

If I were a grape vine, then my grapes would be made into fine wine and savoured; I would be tended to, and  people would pay a good price for my fruit. and the wine that is made from them.'

Marriage is a tree that is meant to produce what it was meant to. But it will never produce much if we are not observant of it. That means we must be attentive.

However, some believe that they can change the fruit. They want to be a different kind of tree. When we are in Christ, we must not fight against that which we should become or wish that we produce the fruit that others do. We must learn to be satisfied and aware of what God has made us.

What type of tree has God made you into?

Yeshua told us that we are the fruit of His vine. When people are unhappy with their spouse, they forget that they are dealing with parts of themselves. An unbalanced marriage is a selfish one. A person may want the other to change, to become more like them. They pick out problems and characteristics that they find annoying. They see themselves as the model, they see themselves as right; they can do no wrong, and their way is the only way.

Living in this way, being critical and unloving, is not becoming of a believer. It is dishonouring what God has brought together. It is like gossiping and brings an unfruitful curse upon the relationship and distances the blessings and closeness of God.

God has created balance and strength in the tree; it is an ecosystem. When we look at a fruit-bearing tree, we don’t see the fruit growing on the trunk; we see it on the branches, and we see it after the blossom. That should give us a clue into how our marriages should flourish.

In second marriages, especially after bereavement, some spouses seek to marry those who resemble their last spouse. They become unhappy when their next wife or husband is nothing like.

People can also marry out of convenience, loneliness or in some cases, the need of adoration, treating others as servants.

We never really know our spouses until we marry them. Inhabiting the same space is difficult, but this kind of space is a space of sharing and responsibility.

There is a type of relationship that waits and does not rush around. It is built on the quiet internal service of love and appreciation. It is secret, thoughtful, considerate, sacrificial, and unconditional. It thinks of the other constantly, it does not weigh service in the things it feels it must do to express love.. it is like faith, passive but active at the same time.

It is the goal of the tree to produce fruit. It is the role of marriage to produce, strive for and live in unity. to be as one; though God separated the woman from the man, their actions and love for one another would unify them through God’s blessings and his discipline.

God made the woman so that the man could survive. He did not make the woman into a slave, or in a second marriage, a replacement. She is unique and needs to observed as such.

A woman needs a different expression of love. She needs tenderness, proof, to be cherished. Men need to learn how to love their wives, and women need to learn how to love their husbands. It must work both ways.

A man needs respect, but also needs to respect his wife, and each spouse needs to value and understand how much their relationship is worth.

Do you know the difference between value and worth?

Imagine that you have an old coin. If it were made of silver, it would be valued at the price of its weight in silver, but if it had a specific date on it or some other peculiar stamp or design upon it, it could be valued at many times more. That is its worth. God has put His stamp on your marriage, and that means it has worth.

Worth is what we attribute to God. We declare that God is worthy of our praises and worship. It declares how we value our relationship with him. Our marriages must be valued, worthy of praise and blessing too.

Remember that marriage is the story of a greater love. A love that abolishes selfish desires and seeks to gather a fruit-bearing harvest as a sacrificial gift to God.

If we have become dissatisfied with what we have been given and become grumblers and groaners, gossipers against our loved ones, then we are doing the same to ourselves.

We therefore need to repent of our unchanging nature and allow the Father to rain down times of refreshing and renewal.

Shalom.